Words Never Said
by Serpentine Wisdom
Summary: Hibari is a difficult man to love... 1827


**Title:** Words Never Said **  
Author: **Serpentine Wisdom  
**Fandom: **Katekyo Hitman Reborn!**  
Characters: **TYL Tsuna, TYL Hibari**  
Pairing:** 1827  
**Rating:** T**  
Warnings:** Homosexuality**  
Disclaimer:** I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn! or any of it's characters and I'm not making any profit out of this.**  
Summary:** Hibari is a difficult man to love…

**Author notes:** This one-shot is completely unrelated to my other 1827 story 'Trapped'.

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"I love you," Tsuna said, smiling into the crook of Hibari's neck.

He didn't expect an answer, he never did, but the words lingered somehow in the dimly lit room and traveled between them like a soundless echo. There was no reaction from the man he was curled up next to, not as much as a twitch or a skipped heartbeat. Silence could be many things, it could be happy or sad, awkward or uncomfortable and it could speak volumes voicelessly or hide the truth but what bothered him was when he didn't hear the words that weren't spoken. It bothered him because those were the words that were important, the words that portrayed people's innermost selves. By a keen sense of intuition, he had learned how to read words left unsaid, to understand what would never be uttered… but Hibari Kyoya's silence was empty, like always, and time and time again Tsuna wondered if there really was anything at all in that silence.

That thought scared him.

Then Hibari _–because he was still Hibari, never Kyoya, even after all these years–_ pushed Tsuna onto his back, pressing him down against the soft bed sheets. With a hand and knee on each side, Hibari loomed over him. His face was cold, without even a trace of that terrifying smirk that would sometimes decorated his face, and his eyes stared down at Tsuna dispassionately. Although he had never said it, Tsuna had always thought Hibari's sharp, slanted eyes were beautiful. Looking up into them now, he could see himself reflected in them, as if in a distorted mirror and he wondered what Hibari really saw when he looked at him. It was not the look a man gave his lover in this kind of intimacy. But Tsuna didn't let it bother him and pulled the other man down for a kiss.

Hibari leaned into the kiss and let himself sink down until they lay chest-to-chest. Tsuna circled his arms around Hibari's torso, and felt hard muscles moving underneath too-smooth skin as he ran his hands over his lover's back. He could only feel a single scar, which started on Hibari's left shoulder and continued further up to snake down his chest. It was a thin, old scar; a left over from a fight so long ago that it invoked a strange sense of nostalgia in Tsuna. But just like that scar would never fade, he knew that Hibari would never relent until he had killed the one who gave it to him. In a life of violence and death to escape with so few scars was an achievement, a testament to the cloud guardian's remarkable skill. There was even a joke circulating the base that the cloud guardian's body was as hard as his heart was cold.

But while Hibari had outgrown his boyhood slimness many years ago and was now easily a head taller than Tsuna, his body was still only human, only bones, flesh and blood. Curling his fingers against Hibari's lower back, Tsuna wondered how the dark-haired mafioso always managed to appear so inhuman. There was nothing in his features that screamed monster or murderer; instead it was a face that could inspire trust would it only let a trace of humanity slide over its features. A handsome boy who had grown into a handsome man but the stillness in his face and the chill in his eyes never left.

Sometimes it was disconcerting, because Tsuna was just as warm as Hibari was cold. Under those slim, strong hands he would writhe, gasp and moan, twisting in pleasure that drowned out all other sensations. But as heated as their union could become Tsuna had never been able to escape the coldness of Hibari's embrace as it seeped into his very bones, drawing away any warmth it could find. At times, Tsuna almost felt as if Hibari was stealing his warmth away, deliberately taking it all for himself and leaving Tsuna with nothing but ice in his veins.

There were many times he refused to see his wandering cloud guardian, seeking his refuge in the staggering piles of paperwork that always covered his desk instead. Nights when the cruel facts of life were knocking on the door to Tsuna's heart and soul and he couldn't stand to see the stark indifference painted on Hibari's features. Even Tsuna's patience, his ability to understand, had its limits. He could not stand in front of the man who could never understand the tears Tsuna shed over the lives sacrificed for the sake of the family, the tears he shed over the lives his family, no, the lives _he_ ruined. He could never tell if he avoided his lover because seeing the living tragedy of a human who didn't understand the value of another life would just make him cry even harder long after he no longer has any tears left. Or if it was because he couldn't take the bitter, biting truths Hibari would inevitably deliver.

More than once people would tell him he should just leave Hibari. Hibari who was never there for him, Hibari who had nothing in common with him other than Vongola, and most importantly Hibari who didn't care about him or even try to understand him. But to Tsuna, it was those people who didn't understand. He had always known that Hibari was a difficult person to love, even all those years ago when this strange relationship began. He has never had any illusions regarding what kind of boyfriend, lover or whatever the cloud guardian would be. Hibari had always been an aloof, selfish and violent wanderer who would only drift along his own path and Tsuna had never expected him to change. Because that difficult person was the Hibari he was in love with, the Hibari who made his head feel light and sent shivers down his spine in a way that had nothing to do with fear.

Smiling, Tsuna kissed his lover. Hibari had never said 'I love you', not once in ten years but he didn't need to. When Hibari returned from one of his long trips, when he touched him, when he kissed him… Tsuna felt like he didn't need to understand all those unspoken words he could never hear. Because every searing kiss said 'I want you', each lingering caress whispered 'I need you' and every time he returned from some faraway place it screamed 'I love you'.

The significance that the cloud guardians always returned was something that only a few of his friends, or his family, ever seemed to consider. He returned and he took part in enough duties to satisfy them because their expectations of his participation were already so low that he was almost completely ignored. No one asked why proud, independent Hibari bothered coming back at all. Tsuna believed that a part of what kept the dark-haired mafioso coming back again and again was something as common as fear. To be honest it was a thought that would never have entered his mind had it not been for Reborn but the more he thought about it, the more he began to believe in it.

At first it seemed inconceivable… Hibari, the strongest of the guardians, who never buckled under pressure and had never seemed to have the slightest understanding of the concept of fear as he did whatever he pleased. Tsuna had never thought Hibari could feel fear, maybe it was blind faith but he couldn't imagine anyone defeating the cloud guardian. How could Hibari ever be afraid? Hibari was so strong, he was just… _invincible_.

But Reborn opened his eyes, forced them to see.

"Hibari isn't a man who fears death or defeat in battle," the Arcobaleno had said long ago. "What he fears is a entirely different kind of defeat… because he doesn't know how to fight it."

Slowly Tsuna had begun to understand what Reborn had meant. What Hibari feared wasn't death or torture or loneliness… he feared being replaced because Hibari understand more than anyone else how alienating his behaviour was. He didn't want to loose the only one who had managed to warm his frozen heart yet at the same time he knew that he couldn't control someone's emotions. For once his all his strength and his skill were utterly useless because this kind of battle couldn't be won with weapons and like a fish on land he was out of his element. He was afraid that one day Tsuna would no longer care enough to bother with someone as cold-hearted as him, that one day he would decide that he couldn't take it anymore.

In the face of another person's emotions Hibari, to whom everything was a battle, couldn't do anything but come back and remind Tsuna of his existence. It was a helplessness the cloud guardian was unused to and detested but couldn't escape. So Tsuna smiled as brightly as he could and told Hibari he loved him over and over again because he was just as addicted as Hibari was.

**The End.**

**Author notes:** I was thinking about the 1827 pairing and I really can't see Hibari telling anyone he loves them and that really could be a bit of a cinch in a relationship. So I started wondering how Tsuna would deal with someone who disappeared all the time and was gone for long periods of time, rarely talked much when he actually was there and never, ever said he loved him. That's what this fic grew out of, although it doesn't really explore it in-depth and mutated somewhat into something else.


End file.
